Tonight, I got the BIG fight with my mother (a little over an hour).
The trigger: I wanted to help her and giving her time to her music while taking care of the ironing. But while the iron was plugged (soooooo important part) I went to my room to retrieve the phone number and the freebox Evan. It would call me later, but to avoid making the phone ring and thus eventually wake up my mother, I was to get his number in my archives neufbox msn in my room ...
And there is the drama ...
My mother becomes crazy and starts m'aggresser to blame me for not paying attention to the expense, to take bath irrational (I am not even from the college, or when the weekend to relax). In short, she wants me to start on the ground of my irresponsibility, it will do so alone because I refuse (almost) any verbal sparring with her.
And the thing that makes him flipping out since recently, in addition to money problems is the fact that my father have brought me to meet his former mistress girlfriend became official (since adoubée by me, I met her, my mother's argument). At the end of this meeting, I gave him a kiss. How my mother knows all this you say, well this is easy: she pulled me towards the nose. She always asked me not to tell my interviews (infrequent, indeed) with my father, she comes to news. Curiosity is not a bad thing, just that one voluntarily exposes himself to suffering.
So she believes that my father has done wrong, and now it was I who betrayed, by the way, I am no longer her son and she asked me 2 times to leave the house to live with these people "cool" and "Lunch" (my words, who knows why one day I was stupid to tell him my feelings honestly, even if it hurts).
Exactly, I made him ill. It was obviously not intentional, but I hurt. I do little more than just put me on the ground before everything she says. Crawl, it's not really my thing. I open my mouth against her, I said what I have on my heart, I try to make her understand my intentions, I never wanted to hurt her. She is too stupid to understand and edgy. It strikes me, it insults me. The problem is that if I want to solve this problem, now I gotta let me do that because she feels no remorse in front of me, try it keep your head high, even though I know it is destroyed from within.
You'd think a pervert, but in those moments when I'm really, really, full mouth, I want to demolish, to undermine it from within, to remove all hope of happiness, even any notion of happiness. Tell him I am no longer his son a long time that I stopped loving ago lontemps well, it is nothing more for me than dead, at least I inheritance. I do not believe a word, but I want so much to the VOI suffer as much as it destroys me.
For it is a game of destruction. A sway me from the horrors in the figure, it makes me selfish: I refocused on me, I ended up ignoring it. I live in my bubble. Nothing that can happen does not affect me now. I would lie about that, but I am completely detached. There is no further complicity, no joyful moment. Obviously, she accuses my father, it's easier, and more, with the money problem and the deficit is widening, the alibis rain and even hail. But this is not the underlying problem.
I have made a mistake tonight, I told him I did not see much use for his therapy if even now she could not control themselves, develop things positively, try to solve his problem, rather than mess with the only family member with whom she got along well even ...
Now she is completely isolated. She has no family. He still has his friends, that's all.
She can not get to the place of people, understand the suffering of others, when they are close to it, it's just impossible ... She does not understand me, she does not understand his mother. All she has is her checkbook. We can not
communiquer.J am trying to do my best but it's too hard!
I do not need help, I feel that it will soon end. Something is broken.
insults and "shots" are for something, but it's not just that. It is a relationship of trust I lost. It's tragic to admit, but I know very well that I can no longer require.
She told me not to tell her about my father, just as I was never to talk to him about it. But by dint of insisting, despite my refusal, she knew that i had seen her friend, she gave me the impression of being someone "cool" and "lunch" and that it made me a kiss as he went. Find the error.
Obviously, she has the stress of home, bank charges, from my father ... but is it justified to talk to me like this?
I do not think so.
I know she is full, sanguine, impulsive, but I try to do what I can to keep the pieces together until the glue dries, but I suspect she does everything to break his relationship with me end with a "I had you said that you thought of myself as a dragon."
unfair or pathetic?
